Mr. Pig Live!

Greetings and welcome to another episode of my talk show . . . Mr. Pig Live! 

Today we have not one, but THREE special guests with us today. . . . WHAT?! Oh no. This can't be right. Who is responsible for booking these guests?! Do you think this pig has death wish? This is NOT what I signed up for! . . . What's that? We're still on the air?

Ahem. Pardon me. Let's try that again. Today I'll be I'll be hosting a roundtable discussion with (gulp!) . . . Timber Wolf, Lion, and Great White Shark.

But before I bring them out, let's watch the trailer for their acclaimed picture book, CARNIVORES, by Aaron Reynolds and illustrated by Dan Santat. 

Wait. Did he just eat that cat?!

I'm nervous, but the show must go on. Let's put our hands, paws, and fins together for the hopefully well-fed and not-at-all-hungry . . .

CARNIVORES! 

Welcome to the show, Carnivores. What are your full names?
Shark: Great White Shark, also known as Carcharodon carcharias.
Wolf: Wow, that's fancy. I'm just Timber Wolf.
Shark: Well, that last bit is my genus.
Wolf: Wow, you're a genius? I wish I was a genius.
Lion: No chance of that any time soon. I'll answer to “King of the Jungle,” “Lord of the Savannah,” “King of Beasts.” Some of the ladies in my pride call me “Snuggly-Mane.” But mostly my friends just call me “Lion.”

What three words best describe you?
Lion: Courageous. Gorgeous. Carnivorous.
Wolf: Well, if you asked the bunnies, they would say “Sneaky,” “Sinister,” and “Evil.” But I would just say “Really quiet walker.” 
Shark: Teeth. Teeth. And . . . um . . . I can't think of a third one.

Oh, let's not talk about sharp teeth. Let's talk about anything else. Like belly buttons! Do you have a belly button?
Lion: Belly button??? That's rather personal for an interview, don't you think?
Shark: I think I have one. I can't see down that far. Wolf, do I have a belly button?
Lion: My agent called me here for an interview, not to strip search an oceanic predator in search of a navel.
Wolf: I don't see one.
Shark: WHAT? What happened to my belly button?
Lion: All I ask is that we try to maintain a little dignity. Please. Is that too much to ask?

What is the best thing about being you?
Shark: Well, I'm pretty much at the top of the oceanic food chain, so there's that.
Wolf: I'm pretty much at the top of the forest food chain.
Lion: Are you looking at me? I'm the “King of Beasts.” What part about me isn't “best”?

What is the worst thing about being you?
Lion: See previous question.
Wolf: Sometimes it gets old just eating bunnies all the time. I'd kill for a burger once in a while.
Shark: Jellyfish. Definitely jellyfish.

From Carnivores. Illustration copyright 2013 by Dan Santat.

If you were stranded on a desert island, what would you bring?
Wolf: My three best pals.
Shark: Aw . . . that's so nice.
Wolf: Yeah.
Shark: You mean us, right?
Wolf: Yeah.
Shark: Aw. . . that's so nice. Wait, what am I doing ON the island again.
Wolf: It's just a hypothetical question.
Shark: But, as an ocean dweller, would I be stranded NEAR a desert island? Or in a reef CLOSE to a desert island?
Wolf: Just pretend. For sake of argument, IF you were SOMEHOW MIRACULOUSLY stranded on the LAND PART of a desert island, what would you bring?
Shark: Hmm. . . . my three best pals.
Wolf: Aw . . . that's so nice.
Shark: How about you, Lion? Would you bring your three best pals?
Lion: Nope. Bacon. Lots and lots of bacon.

Yikes! Let's move on to happy, non-bacony things. When do you feel the happiest?
Lion: When I'm looking at bacon. In fact, I'm getting a joyful little feeling inside right now.
Wolf: Why? There's no bacon around here.
Lion: Do you know what pigs are made of, Wolf?
Wolf: Wait, I know this. Um . . . chicken?
Lion: Shark, do you know what pigs are made of?
Shark: No comment. I've learned not to talk to you when you get that look in your eye. Next question, please.

Good idea. What is your favorite word?
Shark: Shark.
Wolf: Ninja. It's just a cool word. Ninja.
Lion: Bacon.

Of course. What is you least favorite word?
Shark: No shark.
Wolf: No ninja.
Lion: No bacon.

From Carnivores. Illustration copyright 2013 by Dan Santat.

If you could be any bug, which would you choose?
Wolf: Ooh! STINKBUG! I call stinkbug!
Shark: Water strider. Definitely.
Lion: Bug? Why would I want to be a bug? Honestly, Mr. Pig, I know you are a simple barnyard creature, but isn't there a producer or somebody to vet these questions before they get asked? This is ludicrous. 

Not to worry. Somebody is definitely getting fired after this interview. If you could dine with three characters from other books, who would they be?
Wolf: Pat the bunny. Little Bunny on the Move. Peter Rabbit.
Lion: No, no, no. He said dine WITH, not dine ON.
Wolf: What's the difference?
Lion: Well, if you're dining ON them, you're eating them. And if you're dining WITH them, you're sitting down and you're eating, and they're eating, and then the wind changes and you catch a whiff of their little delicious bunny scents, and then before you know it you've got five bunnies in your mouth and you're wondering why your dinner companions are always so quiet, and . . . Yes, fine, I'm starting to see what you mean.
Shark: Next question, please.

I'm relieved that you didn't say The Three Little Pigs. What is your pet peeve?
Lion: Annoying interview questions read by overdressed breakfast meat.
Wolf: Oh, I know this one. It's that annoying squeaking sound that bunnies make. They're always squeaking! I'd give up lunch for a week for a universal bunny remote with a mute button.
Shark: My pet peeve? Dolphins. They think they're so great. But their not! They're just skinny sharks with blowholes. Come on! Who breathes out of THE TOP OF THEIR HEAD??? Dolphins, that's who.

"Overdressed breakfast meat"? If you didn't scare the ascot off of me, I might object to that comment. Last question. What was it like working with Aaron Reynolds?
Shark: Delicious. So, so delicious.
Lion: Shark, did you eat the author again?
Shark: What?
Wolf: What's that in your mouth, Shark?
Shark: Nuffing.
Lion: Shark! Spit him out.
Shark: It's nuffin. I'b delling you.
Lion: SPIT HIM OUT. RIGHT THIS SECOND.

Well, that's all the time we have for today. What a pity. I better feed my guests before I become the main course. Nina from Lunches with Love is serving them a tasty vegetarian lunch. HURRY, NINA!

Tune in next time when I interview my forest friend, the energetic Squirrel!

About the Book
CARNIVORES
by Aaron Reynolds; Illustrated by Dan Santat
Chronicle Books, August 2013

"Will young readers swallow such a tongue-in-cheek take on the importance of self-acceptance? With relish." --Kirkus Reviews

"Will be a favorite for rowdy read-alouds. chuckle-inducing from cover to cover." --School Library Journal

"Irreverent and decidedly Darwinian humor pioneered by the likes of Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith." --Publishers Weekly, starred review

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About the Author 
Aaron Reynolds is a New York Times bestselling author of many highly acclaimed books for kids, including Chicks and Salsa, Joey Fly, Private Eye, and the Caldecott Honor winning Creepy Carrots! He frequently visits schools and his highly participatory presentations are a blast for kids and teachers alike. Aaron lives in the Chicago area with his wife, two kids, four cats, and between three and ten fish, depending on the day.

To learn more about Aaron and his books, visit his website: www.aaron-reynolds.com.



About the Illustrator

Dan Santat is the author-illustrator of Sidekicks and the winner of the Silver Medal from the Society of Illustrators for Oh No! (Or How My Science Project Destroyed the World) by Mac Barnett. He's illustrated numerous picture books, including Always Lots of Heinies at the Zoo, Bawk and Roll, Chicken Dance, and The Three Ninja Pigs. He is also the creator of the Disney animated hit, The Replacements. Dan lives in Southern California with his wife, two kids, and various pets. 

Visit Dan's website to see more of his books, including his most recent picture book, Beekle: The Unimaginary Friend.